frozenfractals | you've got to hold on when you get love and let go when you give it

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jessica drew

you've got to hold on when you get love and let go when you give it

Showing off might be a little bit childish. Striking a balance between modesty and pretending to have actual confidence has been something of a fight for Elsa for years, though, so she doesn't really care. She's been feeling more and more sure of her abilities these last few months, and that means the world. Even if she still has her doubts, she's mostly certain she knows what she's doing, which is a far cry form how she felt less than a year ago. It makes her whole life easier.

If there are two people in the world she would credit with helping her find her footing, they're Anna and Jessica. They've both seen firsthand what Elsa can do, of course. But she's been itching to show Jessica more for ages now, so when a chance arises for them to both get away for an afternoon, she takes it.

It's easier to go out at night sometimes, even if she pays for it when she gets to work on those mornings. With both of them working, though, it's the time when they're both most free. It's easier, too, to let loose on the city streets and roofs late in the evening, when it's darker and only a few people will see her and she knows it's for a good cause. She doesn't want to be always hiding in shadows, though. The sun is bright today. That's just how she wants it.

There's a cove a little way up the coast, outside of town, isolated and shielded from view by the cliffs. The beach there isn't much, but it's space enough for her to work, so she tells Jessica to meet her there. She brings a picnic lunch and a blanket to sit on (if only because it occurs to her that Jessica might get cold, even if she won't), but she keeps both off to the side, leaving as much clear space as she can. Frowning to herself, she studies the area. The ground is a bit rough with shells, kelp, and rock, but she can level it off with a layer of ice for the foundation. After that, it should be fine.

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One of the fringe benefits of Darrow, she supposed, was that it had fringes, that the countryside was more or less right there outside of it. You didn't have far to go for it, you could have picnics.

Of course, she thought loyally, in New York you could take the A train up to the Cloisters, where there was parks and history. Although, to be fair, it was all imported, a cluster of old buildings brought in from other places and assembled together.

Sounds like another place I know and currently live, come to think. Maybe that's Darrow's deal. One big history museum. Or I guess... zoo.

Really, that was a depressing line of thought, though, and one that dropped entirely once she got to the cove and spotted Elsa, a delighted smile immediately finding itself on her face as she waved on approach. She didn't know what the plan was, but she'd never not enjoyed time with Elsa.

"I don't see any smugglers, so that rules out my first guess," she called over as she got closer.

Elsa brightens when she sees her, walking over to meet her, hands outstretched to take Jessica's. "No," she says with a laugh, "no smugglers or pirates, I'm afraid. Maybe next time." That would be exciting. She wonders briefly if she could make a boat out of ice and how well it would float, since ice cubes in a drink seem to get on fine. Sailing out, even close to shore, with anything less than full certainty is a daunting thought, though. Perhaps it's better not to find out. She'll leave it to the real pirates, which she has no doubt exist. This is Darrow, after all. It seems to her like everything's here.

The excitement the city has to offer, though, wouldn't matter nearly as much if it weren't for the special few in her life. "Just me and a picnic. And I wanted to show you something."

I wonder if there are smugglers. Where would they be smuggling from? That nebulous outside the natives seem to be able to get deliveries from, I suppose.

"There is absolutely no place for a 'just' in that sentence," she said, squeezing Elsa's hands and swaying them in a small arc. "Is the something the cove? Because it's a pretty sweet cove. Cosy. Cove-y."

She probably wouldn't have thought to come out looking for a spot like this, tending as she did to constructed spaces, to the nooks and crannies and hidden spots that formed when people pushed steel and stone up to meet the sky. Usually if she saw nature, it was from a way off, on a rooftop. Swinging across the city you ran out of those a lot quicker in Darrow than in New York, but it was a good reminder there was other stuff worth seeing, too. And people to see it with.

"No," Elsa says, grinning. "Well, yes, because I like how quiet it is here." As much as she loves living with her sister, there are times she really needs to be alone still, and her room isn't always the best place for that. Penning herself in isn't necessarily helpful; she just can't be around other people. Trying to do that at home, though, with Anna just down the hall, makes it worse sometimes. There's too much guilt it adds on, too many bad memories. It helps to have a place like this, isolated, both peaceful and wild.

"But no. I wanted to show you what I can do." When she's let Jessica see and know so much more about her than most people do, this should be as easy as the rest. And, in fact, it is. Maybe it's anticipation making her heart race this time, not nerves. "Well, more. Obviously you've seen — I needed some space to work."

She remembered that first time, Elsa freezing over the empty schoolyard for an ice rink, to keep from doing damage. She'd been delighted by it then, was continually delighted by what she could do, and so considering the space and the isolation, the scope seemed considerably... wider. She didn't know exactly what to expect, actually shifting from foot to foot with anticipation.

"I am so here with more," she said, teeth snagging her lip briefly. "What're you going to- no, don't tell me."

It's been exciting, swinging between rooftops, seeing firsthand the good she can do. Elsa wouldn't trade it for anything now. That fact just makes her all the more eager to show off, though. She feels comfortable enough to be sure of how impressive she can be, and she's aching to stretch her muscles a little, try something grander.

"Alright," she says, squeezing Jessica's hands. She glances to her side, surveying the terrain again, and makes a decision as to how to approach this. Letting go of Jessica's hands, she smiles. "Stand back."

Heading away, closer to the center of her space, she takes a deep breath, letting herself feel that giddiness. The chance to create something new is a gift, whatever else her powers have been at times. Just stamping her foot feels like something special, a declaration of self, as the ice begins to whirl across the ground, spreading out around her, sinking down to fill the pocked and uneven ground. Moving across the glassy surface, she works, deciding on details as she goes. Like a snowflake, these things have structure; like snowflakes, they're unique. She won't make the same castle a second time, but elements remain the same: pillars to hold the building steady and fortify the roof, a sweeping staircase, the way the ice arcs to form the ceiling. This time she decides on a dome, a gentle curve cutting off to leave the center open for added light — no chandelier today. The stairway sweeps around one side, leading back down to the other side of the room, a dais beneath where she adds a table. The balustrades are wreathed in glimmering frost, and she laughs, triumphant, at the way they catch the light. Every inch of it feels like a relief, a release from the need to hold so much back.

When she finishes, she stops to catch her breath, admiring her handiwork as she turns to look at Jessica through the open archway.

She watched Elsa walk out to the spot she'd chosen, feeling charged by it, by anticipatory excitement. The stamp, the swirling out of ice, those were familiar, if no less appreciated for the familiarity; she liked the twisting spread of Elsa's powers, thought of the fractal swirl and the snap of cold as extensions of her presence, almost of her touch.

So she was smiling, although a moment later she was doing it with a gaping mouth, as Elsa spun a castle out of thin air, as if pulling a fairytale into being, those organic swirls of ice and snow flowing into architectural shapes as if it were natural for it to simply form into whatever Elsa wanted. Which of course it was. Of course. Jessica swayed on the spot, torn between wanting to advance as close to the flurry of construction as possible and wanting to back up to see it all. It was breathtaking, it was literally so, she felt out of breath.

But not so much that she couldn't run forward the moment Elsa had finished. To confirm its wonderfully impossible reality, she poked the archway with one hand as she passed, the motion turning her movement into more of a spin through the entrance as she tried to take it all in. "Holy @#$%," she said, finishing up by Elsa, hands landing on her upper arms, staring upwards and then snapping her gaze back down. "Holy @#$%."

Which she felt summed it up, as best she could manage.

Elsa laughs, flushed and self-conscious, but exhilarated nonetheless. The awe in Jessica's expression is everything she could have hoped for. It can't be met with anything but fondness and a whirlwind of happy pride, a feeling she's still had too little of in her life. But it makes her feel like a kid again, making anything she liked and pleased to do it, carefree, unaware of the dangers.

Her hands settle on Jessica's shoulders and, for a moment, she looks up, too, taking in what she's made. "Do you like it?" she asks when she lowers her gaze again. "I've only done that once before." It should be exhausting, probably, conjuring all of that out of nothing. It isn't, though. She's not tired at all. If anything, she's more alert, more alive, for it, heart racing. She's done it for herself, a little, a chance to test herself, but she's done it for Jessica, too, to give her something special and beautiful, something that isn't for anyone else. With all Jessica has done for her, it's hardly more than a silly, fleeting token, but it's something.

"I love it," she said, stepping back and letting her hands slip down Elsa's arms so she could catch her hands and spin them in a circle, trying to take in the whole thing. Which probably wasn't the best way to do that, but it was the way she wanted to, right now.

Well, one of them.

"It's amazing. You're amazing," she said, coming to a halt, going up on her tiptoes. She lifted one foot and pressed the toe into the heel of the other shoe, as if debating whether to kick them off. "I kinda want to climb all over it. Is that weird?"

Elsa laughs, head tipping back as they spin, and when they stop, it's all she can do not to pull Jessica back to her again, closer. She wants to be close or moving; she's not sure she can be content with anything else right now.

"No, it's wonderful," she says, marveling at the thought. She hadn't even considered making it right for climbing as she built it, but there are so many columns and balustrades and beams that there's certainly plenty to climb. It would frighten her, admittedly, if it were anyone but Jessica. Having to catch someone is a terrifying idea, something she's not sure she could do, though she has, but Jessica won't need that from her. She'll be safe. She doesn't need protection, though that doesn't curb Elsa's instinctive desire to provide it. "It's for you. You can do whatever you like. I can make whatever you like."

She still thought of herself, so often, as being on the fringes of things, not entirely a part of the world. Included, but it was always someone else's party, so to speak. And that was fine. That was okay. That was just how it was, given who and what she was, that was the way of things.

So she hadn't considered it in those terms, hadn't thought that this other context was available, for this wondrous ice castle Elsa had built. She'd categorized it in her head as practice for Elsa, that she got to watch. But for her? For her?

Whatever you like. She flushed, without entirely thinking about why, but decided climbing could wait; maybe not wait long, but with that statement in the air, she wasn't going to leave Elsa's side right that instant. She ducked her head, looking almost shyly at Elsa with her head tilted down, then shook out her hair as she squared her head as if resetting herself.

"Okay you show me the place and then maybe I'll climb the place," she said, darting forward towards the staircase, tugging Elsa gleefully by the hand, which maybe belied who was showing whom. "I can't believe- it's so, you're so..." She fluttered her free hand about, searching for the appropriate term, not finding it.

Edited 2014-10-14 09:08 (UTC)

Flushing, Elsa nods. She doesn't need Jessica to finish what she's saying. It's enough to hear it this way, to know that it's something good, something beyond words. When her self-esteem flags, she can look back on this and remind herself she did something that made her friend so happy. That sweet, soft look through her long eyelashes is one she won't forget. It reminds her of that day in the country and the dare, Jessica kissing her hand, something she remembers often and without reason. That day, that look, this carefree cheer, they're memories to cherish, warmth flooding her chest as she follows.

"I thought having the staircase sweep up and then down again would make it feel more open," she says. "When we want our picnic, there's a table downstairs. And back here..." Even she's not entirely sure. She imagined it as she works, but until she heads through the double doors into the room at the top of the stairs, she can't be sure how well it matches that fleeting vision. It's as bare as the rest, and she thinks perhaps she should decorate, create some furniture so they have somewhere to sit and chat. First, though, she leads the way to the balcony. It isn't far from here to the shore below, but it's still a pretty view of the water. "It's... a little haphazard. I improvised. It needs a little work, I think, but I'm glad you like it."

"It's perfect," Jessica insisted, hopping up on the railing, one leg curled under her so she could sit half facing the sea. She leaned out to peer at the underlying structure, the elegant crystalline curves. "Haphazard, she says. Ha! Improvised, I'll give you, but I like a little improvised. Gosh, this is pretty."

It really was a fantastic spot. The clean lines of the ice all around them, the view of the ocean, the gentle sounds of it. It was calming. Even if her heart-rate didn't seem to be taking any notice.

Elsa leans against the railing, head against her palm as she smiles up at her, fingers tracing idle patterns against the ice. "Thank you," she says. "I wish I did it more often, but there isn't really anywhere for it in the city. It feels good, though, when I can." She likes the place where art and structure meet, the way she can make something both beautiful and, theoretically, useful. Maybe other people wouldn't want to live somewhere like this, but even so, it feels practical without that damaging the elegance. Someday she'll figure out something, some way for this to make a difference. For now, it's nice just to have somewhere private to go.

"I was gonna say, 'what are you doing in an apartment,'" Jessica said, now actually kicking off her shoes so she could touch one foot to the railing and tip herself backwards over it, swinging in a loose semi-circle before resuming her position, just on the other side of Elsa, now. "But I guess you'd need land, and things. Still. Still. This is- this is actual architecture."

As best she could tell, the ice itself might have been magically made and maintained, but the structure, the design, that wasn't just magic. Or, no, that was the wrong way of thinking, because it was never just magic, it was Elsa's magic, it was a part of her. Which was rather the point, all of this came from somewhere, and that somewhere was her.

"You waved your hands and made- a castle," she said, the slight hitch being where she'd stumbled over the thought, still playing and likely to be playing in her head in quiet moments. You made me a castle. "I might move in. I might just web myself up a hammock right..." she squinted about the room, and pointed, "...there."

It's a combination of a lack of land and the fact Anna doesn't take to the cold the way she does that keep Elsa living in an apartment. Right now, though, it's tempting to live somewhere like this again. With some decorations and furniture, it could be lovely. Back on the North Mountain, she wasn't in the mood for any of that, but there's a lot to be said for the privacy here. She wouldn't have to worry what will happen if she loses control and freezes her building, for one.

She watches Jessica move, grinning at her. "A perfect spot," she says, letting out a soft laugh, though she barely glances away, gaze warm and fixed. "Imagine it, an entire castle fixed up with ice and webs — it could be pretty and comfortable." She likes the idea of that. It seems less like something she made, then, more something they'd make together, and the idea of something she did being useful like that is a nice one, even if it never actually happens.

"I hope you like hammocks," Jessica said, beaming back at Elsa, finding herself caught by the way she was looking up at her. "Mostly I do hammocks. Llllot of hammocks."

For all that, there was something about that she liked. The idea of contributing something, being a part of it. A joint thing. With her had a ring as nice as for her did, especially if it was one and then the other.

"Although," she mused, "if you did a frame, and I filled it in, we could probably work up a- couch, or the like," she finished, substituting in couch at the last minute in place of a different piece of furniture. "All sorts."

Edited 2014-10-17 08:42 (UTC)

Elsa draws in a sharp breath, lighting up. "I hadn't thought of that," she says. "We should do it." The web is sturdy, much more so than it looks at a glance. Of course it is. For all its apparent delicacy, spider's silk is strong stuff, and Jessica's is no less so. It's kept them safe above the city. That it could also provide a secure yet comfortable material for furniture makes perfect sense. She likes the idea of it, of being able to make everything themselves, as if they could have their own little world out here.

She huffs out a laugh, drawing little circles against the railing. "I don't think I've ever used a hammock."

"Not ever?" Jessica said. Then she paused to consider and then added, "Although actually it's not like hammocks are all over your inner cities. I mostly slept in ones I made for a while when I didn't exactly have anything else."

It had been a lot of working out things like that to do, those first few days making her own way in the world. It was odd to think back on that and compare it to now. Not even in terms of having things, but in having people. Who would make the sweetest ice palace for her.

"But nonetheless, you are going to get your hammock on. Right now, it's hammock time," she said, hopping lightly off the railing and onto the ceiling. She didn't exactly skip across it, because it wasn't like she was immune to gravity, if neither foot was on the ceiling she started falling, but there was a similar kind of beat to her steps.

Elsa laughs, pushing herself off the railing to follow, tipping her head back to look at Jessica now and then. "Show-off," she teases. "I've seen them. We just didn't have them all over Arendelle either."

Even now, having been in this place more than half a year, she feels like she's still catching up on life. There are a lot of things that make sense to her now that seemed like bizarre stories not long ago, and she's picking up as much history and culture as she can, but it's still an awful lot to take in. Hammocks aren't exactly a vital part of that experience, though. Or they weren't until now. "Where's the best spot?"

"I told you I was going to climb all over it," she said, merrily, stretching her hands out over her head -- or under them, technically, as matters were -- towards Elsa.

"Which, actually, is making me rethink my location. I was going to say there-ish," she said, pointing at a spot partway through the room. "Sheltered but enough of a breeze, you can see outside and into this fabulous place. But now..."

She reached the double doors back to the stairs and swung smoothly down and through to perch just above it on the other side, like an ornament. "...now I'm looking at that space in the center of the dome and I'm thinking, right there."

She'd have to swoop Elsa up there, admittedly, but she'd certainly done that before, and maybe that was part of the appeal, that it wasn't just a regular spot, it was somewhere that most people wouldn't be able to get to.

Teasing aside, there's a thrill in it. Now that the buzz of creation is easing, Elsa's content just to watch her, to see Jessica so excited to explore what she's made. It makes it feel more concrete somehow. She'd been happy enough in her first ice palace, but there's something more fulfilling in seeing someone else seeing it. It makes it more real and much better. Everything she makes is an extension of herself; loving them is a little like loving her.

She hadn't even thought of placing a hammock out in that exposed space, high above the ground, somewhere she could only reach herself by making a column of ice or a ladder. Jessica has a much more elegant solution, one that makes falling not a concern even worth thinking of. She smiles, resting her hands on the railing as she looks up to the ceiling and back to Jessica. "There?" she asks, smiling. "Alright."

"Then there it is," Jessica said, remaining in place to grin back down at Elsa for an extended moment, before darting up the wall. She kicked off, caught a column and shimmied upwards. She really hadn't been kidding about the climbing. It was fascinating, the organic yet constructed nature of all of it, as well as unfailingly gorgeous, the way it caught the light.

And a little tricky. She could stick to ice, but it took a little more work, was a little more challenging to move and to land. Frankly, that added to the appeal.

But before long she was at the hole in the dome and paused, then set about spinning up a hammock, trying to keep the threads thin and delicate enough that it'd be comfortable. Lots of smaller threads, closer together, seemed the ticket. And wider than usual.

More or less satisfied, she dropped off the ceiling, tagging it with a webline halfway down to slow into a gradual descent ending with her hanging right in front of the railing where Elsa was. "Voila," she said, extending a hand.

Watching Jessica work, Elsa wonders again if that's what her process looks like to other people. It's so beautiful, so intricate and artful, and yet there's an innate grace to the work, a natural flow that makes it seem effortless. She could never do something like that, but then, maybe that's the point. Jessica can't make buildings from ice either. They have different skills, ones that happen to look good together. Certainly it fits, that delicate silk webbing hanging in the midst of all the glistening ice.

She smiles when Jessica drops in front of her, tapping a finger against the tip of her nose before taking her hand. "Eh, bien," she says cheerfully. "C'est beau." Now who's showing off? This part is familiar, at least, even if the rest of this is sort of new. She's used to it by now, Jessica lifting her up and spiriting her into the air. That doesn't curb the thrill of it, though, not yet. "Ready when you are."

Jessica lifted their arms and spun Elsa close enough to grip safely, and with a twist of her body set them swinging upwards, pulling at the webline, releasing, and repeating with a new one to gain height, a corkscrew upwards until the reached the top of the dome.

"Let's see," she said, trying to remember what French she had. "Um, good, that's... bow. Pretty. How much French can you speak? Say some more. Wait, first..."

She settled on the edge of the dome, trying to work out how to transfer them into the hammock, and settled for holding Elsa at the small of her back and simply extending her arm to place her over it. Benefit of being able to pick her up with one hand, she supposed.

Elsa laughs as they fly upwards, pleased as ever to find this doesn't get old for her. The exhilaration is there no matter how many times it happens, the thrill of being high in the air with nothing but Jessica's arm around her to keep her up, to keep her safe.

The hammock itself allows for something similar when she glances over the side, realizing how high up they are. It's sort of a false excitement, she thinks; there's no real danger for either of them. But maybe that's why she can enjoy it rather than panicking. She shifts to the side to make room for Jessica, tucking her legs under her. "Qu'est-ce que tu veux que je dire?" she asks, smirking a little. "I haven't practiced in ages, but it's polite to know how when the French ambassador visits or someone like that. It's nice up here."

She kicked up her legs and lightly hopped the gap between the edge of the dome and the hammock, setting it swinging some when she landed in it and nearly rolled onto Elsa.

"That was more French than I know, anyway. What do you something something. Want. Oh, 'what do you want me to say'?" she said, which was less to do with what she remembered of her limited French and more to do with educated guesswork. "It is nice up here. That's not the answer, that's just- because it is."

Because it was. The ice palace beneath and around them, and the sky right above, all in shades of blue. The sun was warm, but there was enough ice about them that it offset that, too, in just the right way. And Elsa there to enjoy it with her. To make it possible, in fact.

Gripping the side of the hammock, Elsa grins, easing carefully back to lie down. It's surprisingly comfortable, even this high up. After she gets used to it, even the swaying is pleasant, like being rocked as a baby, though she more remembers watching her mother rock Anna's crib instead.

"Teamwork," she says, beckoning for Jessica to join her. She wishes she'd had this up on the North Mountain. Even for her, sleeping on ice and snow isn't the most comfortable thing to do. Not that she'd slept much during those couple days. She'd been too nervous still, too alert to relax completely. This is much nicer, relaxation easy to come by in such good company. "The softest thing I can make is snow. I like this better."

"We do make a good team," Jessica concluded, shuffling to lie down next to her; the hammock, being a hammock, tended to favor everything sliding to the center, but she managed to find a more or less stable position, twisted half on her side so she could look at either Elsa or the sky.

"I like this a lot. I don't always- sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be spending time on things that aren't... the work," she said. Because why would she? She wasn't even really real. She was made for something. She'd seized her own destiny, so she could choose what that something was, but it was still the important thing, the purpose, wasn't it?

Except she wasn't entirely sure of that. Not that it wasn't important, but that it had to be all-consuming. If it did, she was getting increasingly worse at it.

"But this, this is- I very definitely don't feel like I should be anywhere else. It means a lot. It means the world to me."

Elsa closes her eyes, holding tight to those words. Hearing something like that, she knows she's somewhere she should be, too, and it's a heady feeling. "Me too." It's not just that, it's everything else Jessica says, that idea of somehow belonging to her job. She understands it far too well. She wouldn't say it's been bad for her, but there were times she knows it didn't help. As much as she understands that sense of obligation, it's the desire to help that she loves about Jessica, not the duty.

Tugging gently at a bit of Jessica's shirt, she shakes her head. "I felt the same way," she says. Lying close to her like this, it's impossible to miss how beautiful Jessica is, or how much she wants her to be happy. "I thought I was going to be queen and that was it. No other life for me, no future, just Arendelle and my duty. I thought that's how it was supposed to be. But it's not. You've helped me figure that out. You deserve more."

"I don't know if I'm at 'deserve,'" Jessica said, eyes down for a second, drawn by the tug on her shirt. She rested her hand on Elsa's, absently drawing circles on the back with her fingertips. "I'm still working up to 'will accept.'"

She looked back up at Elsa's face, tracking across it, the close-up detail, the things you could miss from a distance. Those freckles, for one. She wondered if that was symbolic, related, but with a squirm in her stomach thought that maybe she was just reaching for reasons to stare. "You definitely do, though."

"I'm still working up to that," Elsa says, quietly wry. She's much better at believing it now, but she won't pretend now that it's a constant, not with Jessica. There are still times when it's a struggle to believe she deserves that kind of independence or freedom, times when she hardly believes she deserves anything at all, let alone happiness. But those times are so much rarer now, and that's what matters. She's weathered them before, all on her own. Now, at least, she has company in the storm.

There's a tension in her limbs, no matter how relaxed she is, that's become familiar of late, forever frozen in the process of moving closer. She's aware she's being watched, but of course she is. They're facing each other, of course Jessica's looking at her. Even so, between that and the conversation at hand, she feels awfully vulnerable. It's silly, though, she reminds herself. This has been a big gesture, but it's been a well-received one, too. There's no need for self-consciousness.

"As long as you'll accept it. I'm not letting you just disappear into the work, whether you like it or not."

"Oh, you won't, will you?" Jessica said, lifting her hand to find the end of Elsa's braid and tweak it gently. Then it sort of stayed there. On its own. Except there was only so long she could sell herself on that. She had a tendency, sometimes, of watching her own thoughts, of thinking about how she was thinking, the inevitable consequence of having someone else's memories in her head, of having started out from those memories. Sometimes it was still tricky, to figure out where a certain feeling came from, although to a point she'd decided it didn't matter. Feeling was feeling.

But she was pretty sure the line of internal code she'd developed that went IF see Elsa THEN touch Elsa was entirely her. She didn't want to rewrite it, so to speak, but she was increasingly worried she wanted to add lines. That wasn't for her, and even if it was-

Well, except that was the matter under discussion.

"I won't," Elsa says, firm, though she's smiling through it. "Queen's orders." Her position may not mean anything here, except sometimes to her, but it's easy to poke fun at herself. Serious as she is about the subject, she doesn't want to get too heavy when the point of coming here was to have a nice, quiet time together, a peaceful, fun day for Jessica.

She's not sure if this counts as fun exactly and it's hard to qualify it as peaceful when there's a strange flip-flopping feeling in her stomach, but it's nice, at least. That much is incontestable. She's aware of the way Jessica's touching her hair, but it's a pleasant sort of awareness, like it's somehow unsettling and comforting all at the same time. It isn't as if she's thought much about lying around together like this, but she suspects she will now, the kind of memory she finds soothing when she needs help coming down from the panic. Even if those don't happen nearly as much anymore.

"As my queen commands, then," Jessica said, trying for serious and failing miserably, face crinkling around her attempt to keep her lips out of a smile. She did a better job on the delivery, though, she thought it was the precise right level of playful, even as some aspects of the phrasing might have touched on the fringes of ideas she was dancing around.

Or lying in one place staring at, which did make the dancing harder.

"Really, ordering less work, that's unconventional royalty. Out of the box thinking. You're clearly very good at it."

"I am," laughs Elsa. "See? I was born for the job." She grins, brow raising briefly at her little joke. At least for the moment, she believes Jessica means it, which is reassuring. Maybe there will be times Elsa has to convince her, but then, that's true of both of them. They all have fears and concerns, irrational or otherwise, they have to be talked down from sometimes. They'll just have to do that for each other.

She moves the arm she's half laying on so her hand is near Jessica's, stretching out a finger to graze her palm. "Besides, if you worked all the time, I couldn't make you castles. Where's the fun in that?"

The finger on her palm was relaxing, but also somehow not, as if there was an undercurrent to the placid calm, a frisson radiating out from it. It made her not want to move; it made her want to move, she just wasn't sure which direction.

She grinned, at the joke, and the sentiment both. The possibility of future castles. "You'd have to make them on top of buildings. Crime scenes. It'd be very confusing for the police."

Elsa nods, tracing circles against Jessica's wrist, expression bright with amusement. "I can freeze the evidence into the walls," she says. "Then it can't go anywhere. Of course, they'd have to defrost it before they could do anything with it."

The nights she spends running around the city are some of her favorites. It's the one thing she can do outside of the apartment where she's always sure of herself. So she has some moments where she's not certain what she's doing, but that all encompassing fear of getting it wrong ebbs. It may not be so bad anymore, but it wakes up in unfamiliar or claustrophobic circumstances a lot of the time. Up on those roofs or dashing through the street, she doesn't know what's coming but she's not afraid of it. Not with Jessica there like a beacon in the fog.

"Cops standing around with hairdryers," Jessica said, smiling at the idea, among other things to smile about, just then. "Slamming a big block of ice down on the exhibit table in the courtroom."

She'd thought, once or twice, about whether she should just join the cops, replace her SHIELD cachet with a badge. Be official, again. But aside from not knowing that the power structures in the city were worth trusting-

(Not that SHIELD had been a sterling beacon of ethics, to be fair)

-they probably looked less favorably on encouraging vigilantism, and Jessica didn't intend to stop any of that. Especially in this particular case.

Giggling, Elsa ducks her head a little, bangs falling in her eyes. She huffs out a breath, trying to blow it away. Movement doesn't seem like much of an option right now, not when she's so comfortable where she is. It feels like budging too much might disturb this strange, restless peace.

"It might make things a bit messy," she says. "All the evidence melting onto their documents. I guess I'd better avoid that."

She smiled wider, and tried to ignore the itch in her fingers to brush Elsa's hair into place for her. Except, no, that'd be fine, that was an ordinary thing to do. Was it? Wasn't it? She was having a hard time with working out where it was.

Sometimes not actually having the experience of growing up as a girl really makes it awkward.

Well, no. Circumstances aside, I think that's mostly dumb ol' me.

"She guesses," she said. "So, no working all the time, or all the legal documents get wet. Clear chain of events. Totally inevitable."

"Exactly." Elsa nods once, firm. "You wouldn't want to make all that extra work for the layers and police, so... Coincidentally that frees up more time for you to hang out with me." Not that they don't spend time together, of course. She's teasing, mostly. With the mask, without it, it's all still Jessica. That's what matters. But it's more fun if Jessica isn't working herself into exhaustion, worrying about everyone else without stopping to think about herself. "It's amazing how that works out."

"Her hidden agenda revealed!" Jessica crowed, although not too loudly. There wasn't exactly anyone around to be disturbed if she was, sure, but she didn't want to put so much energy into it she broke the moment, the stillness, if it proved to be that fragile.

But then, it was a very well-constructed ice castle, and her webs were strong, so what was she worried about? But then, it wasn't the tangible elements that she found delicate.

"A ploy all along. I'm onto you now, queenie."

Elsa lets out a little yelp, quiet and playful, ducking her head to hide her face. "Oh, no, you've figured out my evil scheme," she says. When she lifts her head again, though, she's shifted closer, which is completely unnecessary, since Jessica's made a very nice hammock. It's not like there isn't room. It's just the natural outcome of lowering her head and her body sort of compensating for that motion, is all.

She could draw further back again, but that seems silly, so she stays put, gazing fondly at Jessica. "My extremely circuitous evil scheme to keep you from overworking yourself." Working too hard has always been her thing. It's strange, in a nice sort of way, to want to keep someone else from it. It forces her to look at her own efforts and be mindful of her time. Not that she especially needs to. Anna is perfectly capable of dragging her away from her work when need be.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

you've got to hold on when you get love and let go when you give it

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